Silver, Anybody?
by Galahan
Summary: Bant gets her hands on Mon Calamari soda.
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: I don't own SW, I'm just playing. I won't do too much damage to any characters.

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Author's Note: Thanks to young_padfoot, who gave me the Silver idea. HG, thank your sugar highs.

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Silver Anybody?

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Bant, Reeft, Garen, and Obi-Wan were hanging out in Bant's quarters. Bant's Master had to attend a meeting, but she had let the four apprentices meet there. It was very rare that they were all at the Temple at the same time, so they wanted to spend time together before they were sent off on more missions.

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Bant had offered them all Silver, which she explained was the Calamarian equivalent of soda. Obi was less than eager to try it, but Reeft and Garen had decided they wanted Obi to have some and see what happened to him before they tried it.

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Bant: Come on Obi! Just try it! 

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Garen: It is soooooooo awesome!

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Reeft: Just drink it Obi! One sip. Just one.

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Obi: If I go home drunk, my Master will kill me!

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Bant: It won't make you drunk. It's the Calamarian version of soda!

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Obi: Bant, soda makes you bounce off the ceiling, so-

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Reeft: (interrupting) Literally.

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Obi: SO, What is Silver going to do to me?

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Bant: Bouncing off the wall isn't that bad. Really.

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Garen: Come on! Obi, stop being a coward!

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Obi: Coward? I don't see you drinking it.

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Reeft: Yeah, you cowards!

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Obi and Garen: Shut up. You aren't drinking it either.

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Reeft: Fine. (Picks up can.) Peee-yeeww. This stinks! (Takes a very small drink.)

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Obi: He's not bouncing yet.

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Garen: Or laughing.

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(Reeft is just staring at the wall.)

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Reeft: Wall. Must watch wall. 

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Bant: Reeft! Snap out of it! I know you're faking it.

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Reeft: (Snaps his fingers.) Snap. Snap. Snap. Must...snap...out...of...it. 

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Obi: Is he OK?

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Reeft: (Snaps out of it. Literally.) Who? Huh? Did I miss something?

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Bant: I told you he was faking it. Maybe you should listen to me for once.

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Reeft: This stuff is good!

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Obi and Garen: Are you sure?

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Reeft: (Takes a big gulp.) It's great!

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Garen: All right. I'll try some. (Takes a tiny sip.) Hey! This is good! Try it, Obi!

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Obi: (Takes a drink.) It's not bad, but Reeft needs to bounce.

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Reeft: (Jumping up and down.) Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!

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Garen: (Laughing wildly) Let's make him bounce!

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Obi: (Also laughing wildly) OK. Here goes.

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(Obi and Garen combine their Force abilities and Reeft goes flying into the ceiling, then crashes to the floor, and proceeds to crash into the walls and furniture.) 

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Bant: Put him down! What's gotten into you?

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(Reeft falls to the ground.)

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Reeft: Bounce! Ow! Bounce! Ow! Bounce! Ow! Bounce! Ow!

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Garen: (Kneels down very shakily right in front of Obi, who is now standing.) Obi, will you marry me? (Slips the plastic rings that held the Silver bottles together over Obi's hand.) 

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Obi: (Swaying as if a breeze would knock him over.) No! Marry Reeft. I'm Masssster Jinny'ssss Paddy... Paddy... Paddywy?

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Bant: Padawan?

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Reeft: Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Must have bounce!

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Obi: Yesssssss, that'sssssss the word. I've got to marry Masssssster Qui-SSSSon.

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Bant: Do you mean Qui-Gon, Obi? Are you OK?

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Garen: (Sobbing on the floor.) No! He's a Sith! I love him and he won't marry me! (Sob. Sob. Sob.) He made me fall in love with him so he could say 'no' and make me cry.

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Bant: Uh... why don't you marry Reeft? Yeah, that's it.

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Garen: (Sobs even harder.) Reeft (sob) eats (sob) too (sob) much.

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Reeft: (Still jumping up and down.) Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Try (Bounce) bouncing (Bounce), it'll (Bounce) make you (Bounce) feel (Bounce) better. (Bounce, Bounce, Bounce.) 

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Obi: Where's my lightsaber? I need to shave Bant's head!

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Bant: Uh... Obi? I'm Calamarian. I don't have any hair on my head to shave.

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Obi: Exactly.

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Garen: Bant, don't worry! I'll protect you from the evil Sith! (Staggers to his feet and activates his lightsaber the wrong way, skewering himself.)

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Reeft: (No longer bouncing.) Good thing I took the crystals out of that and replaced them with Silver tops!

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Garen: What!?! My lightsaber! My poor, poor lightsaber. What did you ever do to deserve so horrible a fate? (Sits and proceeds to take his lightsaber apart.)

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Obi: Here, I know what will make it work! (Staggers over to Garen and pours the rest of Bant's Silver into Garen's lightsaber.)

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Garen: My lightsaber!

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Bant: My Silver!

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(Garen is pouring all of the Silver in his lightsaber onto Reeft's head when Bant's Master comes walking in.)

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Garen: (Totally oblivious to Bant's Master) I will make you pay for this grave indignity! All shall pay for this insult on my poor, poor lightsaber!

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Reeft: (To Bant's Master.) HELP ME!!!!

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Obi: (To his lightsaber.) Don't worry, I won't let them get you! My baby, they can't hurt you while you are with me! I'll fight them all off for you! (Kisses handle.) What's that you say? You need to be polished? Of course. Anything for the most beautiful lightsaber in all the Temple! (Reverently places lightsaber on a table, gets on his knees and hails it.)

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Bant: Master! Uh... I can explain!

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Obi: I hail you, O Blesses Lightsaber.

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Reeft: Help me! Please!

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Garen: All must pay!! Death to all those who insult the lightsaber!!

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Bant's Master: That's good. That's very good. You can do that after I call their Masters.

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The End, For Now.

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	2. Chapter two

Disclaimer: I don't own SW or any recognizable characters 

Disclaimer: I don't own SW or any recognizable characters. I won't permanently damage anyone. At least, not beyond fixing! LOL.

Author's Note: Thanks to young_padfoot, who made me get writing. Also, thanks for the Starburst HG. You know what I mean. 

Silver, Anybody?

Part II

Qui-Gon is dragging Obi-Wan through the Temple from Bant's quarters to their own. Obi is still intoxicated with Silver and is not making much sense.

Obi: Master, will you marry me?

Qui: (So startled he almost drops the leash, uh, braid.) WHAT!?!?

Obi: I told Garen I wouldn't marry him because I love you.

(People stop and stare.)

Qui: (Beet red.) Obi! Shut up! Everyone in the hallway is staring at you. (Yanks Obi's braid to emphasize his point.)

Obi: (Wails) I knew you didn't love me! You really do hate me, don't you?

(If possible, more people are staring at the pair.)

Qui: (Yanks Obi's braid again.) Obi! We'll deal with this later!

Obi: I knew it! You hate me! You never give me hugs or hair ruffles!

Qui: Why should I give you hair ruffles if you insist on getting drunk?

Obi: I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

Qui: Huh?

Obi: Exactly. Besides, I'm not drunk. It's just SILVER!!!!!! (Shouts so loud that EVERYONE stops pretending to ignore them and just stares.)

Qui: Obi! Shut up and come on! (Yanks Obi's braid again, harder than the first few times.)

Obi: OOOWWWWWWWW!!!!! What was that for?

Qui: I felt like it.

(By now the pair has reached their shared quarters.)

Qui: Sit, Braid-Boy. We need to talk.

Obi: Talk? Talkey? OOHHHH BOY!!!!

Qui: Yes, a talk. We-

Obi: So you do like me? You aren't going to kick me out on the streets? YYYYYYYIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Qui: Of course not. I wouldn't kick you out onto the streets. I'd trade you in. Don't worry.

Obi: So were gonna have a talkey about doin' stuff together?

Qui: (Holding his head in his hands.) That's not exactly what I had in mind.

Obi: How come we don't do fun stuff together? Why don't you ever smile? Do you know how?

Qui: Yes, I know how to smile.

Obi: Bant and her Master had a makeover! Garen and his Master entered the Master/Padawan lightsaber tournament. Reeft and his Master were in a muja-eating contest.

Qui: If you really want a makeover, I think there are a few girls down the hall who would be happy to help you.

Obi: Really!? I think I'll go see them. (Gets up and heads for the door.)

Qui: Obi-Wan Kenobi! Get back here now!

Obi: Yessir, Master Jinny, sir!

Qui: Just go to your room! Now. Before I murder you.

Obi: (Acts cute and adorable.) You wouldn't really do that to me? Would you?

Qui: No. I'd get too much blood on the new carpet. The Council might not appreciate me replacing the carpet twice in two months.

Obi: But would you throw me off the balcony? Please? Pleeeaaassssseee?

Qui: No. Jump off yourself.

Obi: (Walks over and opens the screen.) Here goes! (Takes a running start and THUMP! Runs right into the see-through glass door.)

Qui: Obi? Are you all right?

Obi: Obi? Who's that?

Qui: You are. Remember, Padawan?

Obi: No. What's my name again?

Qui: (Face is suddenly lit by an evil grin.) Wobi-Ken Wekobi.

Obi: OK. Thanks. My Master would have killed me if I didn't come home with my name.

Qui: (Frowns.) Obi, I am your Master.

Obi: (Jumps up.) NO! You aren't my Master. SILVER IS MY MASTER!!!!!

Qui: Do I need to take you to the Healers?

Obi: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! PPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEE!! I'm a good boy! Don't!!!! 

Qui: Then go to bed.

Obi: But...but...I'm scared of the dark! It's not SILVER!! (Latches on to Qui so tightly that the Master is turning blue.) Please don't make me!! I'll sleep extra tomorrow! I promise, just don't make me **sleep**.

Qui: NO! Absolutely not! (Attempts to disentangle himself and fails.) Obi! Get off!

Obi: At least let me stay with you!

Qui: (Very exasperated.) Stop being a baby! If you're afraid of the dark, leave the lights on.

Obi: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MASTER!! (Grabs Qui even tighter, if this is possible.)

Qui: (Sighs heavily.) All right. But you have to sleep.

Obi:

Obi: OK, Ok. I promise. I CAN do this. Sleep. Must sleep.

(Obi closes his eyes and is asleep almost instantly.)

Qui: (Very softly.) Good night Obi. (Carefully gets out from under Obi, turns the lights off and goes to his bed.)

(THE NEXT MORNING)

Qui: Up and at 'em! (Shakes Obi.)

Obi: (Whining, of course.) Master, I don't feel so good.

Qui: (Puts on a big, fake smile.) I'm sorry, but you still have to go to your classes.

Obi: Uuuugggggghhhhhhh. (Rolls off the couch and staggers to the bathroom. A minute later Qui hears him throwing up.)

Qui: (Snickers to himself.) Maybe I should tell him that it's Saturday.

(Qui-Gon thinks for a moment.)

Qui: Nah. That'll ruin my fun. And he thinks I have no sense of humor.

THE END!

Author's Note: (Again, I sure do like to blab, don't I?) Sorry about the r/n/r/n thing in the last chapter. I have no clue why the computer did that, other than the fact that it doesn't like me.


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